you think you are what i need? hah! then youre wrong.

something has been bothering me lately. i realised perhaps the person you think you understand the most, can turn out to be someone unknown/unfamiliar to you. what does bestfriend indicate? someone who understands you? someone who puts your feet back on the ground when you fall? someone who mends your heart when its broken? haha. i dont know anymore. i have doubts answering those questions. i am extremely disappointed by what she has done. i know no one is perfect. but, why? why choose a guy over me? is it that hard to live without a guy? or is it just that im nothing compared to him/them? my fragile heart is broken now, who can mend it for me?

p.s. i love my BESTFRIENDS very much. (you know who you are.)

16 going 17. :D

Oozing Oozing.;) (got that from a book, its a really good book!). heh. i went for undang last sunday with ida, nis, min yong and louisa ; or otherwise known as elle . we reach at about eight ? then, went home at about two. there's only one word for the day. BORING . nis and i slept in the seminar. hah! honestly, the were apparently talking about road safety. like we should take safety precautions on the road. and whatever not. sigh. i kinda regret going for it. but, like my dear ida said. we would have to go through it no matter what. so, yeah. wtv. i just wanna drive! sigh sigh. the test is on thursday. and im not ready yet. i haven got the time to open the bloody book. haiy.
anyway, i have like three tuitions today. first, accounts (the last time i had it was, uhm. last month? :/) then, bm. then add math. right, i know im hardworking. haha. nah, its just i dont know how suddenly all my tuitions are crammed into a day. hard day for me. :)
well, something is bothering me today. and im really disappointed. i dont know what to say. disappointed and pissed are the best way to describe my feelings right now. fuck it. no, fuck ***

heloooss. i didnt blog for a few days. i couldnt. my computer got some virus shit. im think im gonna get a new one. well, something outrageous happened yesterday. i went to kl in the morning. then, around five something i went to klgcc. for bowling then gym. i brought my nike bag. then, around seven something. my mom came to pick me up. after that, my mom sent my brothers to kumon in dataran sunway. kumon is a centre which mathematics are being taught (incase you didnt know). here comes the interesting part. me, being the fuckingly retarded + dumb + stupid ass left my bag on the seat and left the car for dinner. i repeat, LEFT MY FUCKING BAG ON THE SEAT AND FUCKING LEFT THE CAR!! FOR WHAT? DINNER!!! FUUUUCCCCKKK IT! and, when i came back, the bag got stolen, and guess what's in my bag. my ipod. yes, MY IPOD!!!!!! ARGH. I AM SO FUCKINGLY PISSED OFF AT MYSELF FOR BEING FUCKINGLY RETARDED AND STUPID! GOSHHHH!!!!!!!! argh. i love my ipod. and. i love that bag. so muucch. gawd! im having a heartache now. sobss.

what it feels like to be in love?

hello bello to all! i was relieved the moment p&a nite ended! we worked so hard for it to run smoothly on that day ( 10th november 2006 ). our hard work is definitely worth it. the props were completely done on that day. none of the props had problem! im really glad and relieved. phew! NOW holidays for me are finally beginning.
yesterday, joee asked me to go ou for "step up" i really wanna watch that movie. but,i was really tired in the morning on sat. because i stood for the whole night on friday. i think for about four hours? heh. i was the usher for that night. so, i slept until about two? then my sister woke me up and told me to shower for the trip to ou. after i showered, i texted joee to see whether they were still in ou. unfortunately, joee was already on her way back. :( when i reach ou, i had to sit and wait in the car for half and hour. cause my mom couldnt find a parking spot. sigh. after that, i called xen to ask whether they were still in ou. i wanted to meet them. however, i didnt get to meet them at last. i accompanied my sister to topman to get a present for her "friend". then, i went ms selfridge, bought two blouse. i love it! hah! then, i went levis to check out their jeans. im desperate to wear skinny jeans. but, sigh. i dont have what it takes. wtv.
ah, i did my nails on friday. i didnt do extensions. joee darling did! her nails are gorgeous! heh. well, aight. thats all for today. buhbye! muackkkkss!

:)

how should i tell him im in love?

heyss. today is just like any other ordinary day. i went to school in the morning. at around 8 plus. when i reach school, i went straight to the art room. cut some undone fruits. then carried the props down to the hall. the play is going really well. especially the part where aladdin and jasmine ride on the carpet singing 'a whole new world'. awhh, really really sweet. romantismm! ;) after that, i went back home. then bla bla bla bla. and im blogging now. uhmm. thats all for now! ta ta! muacks. <3














gosh, irresistable.

night to all.

take another chance on love.

heyss. its a saturday! saturday = no school! buahahaha. i mean its not like there's teaching in school. but, i have to go to school until the 10th of nov because of p&a nite. and, going to school is not a problem. honestly, it isnt. but the thing is the "person" i got to face. seriously, its really hard. sigh. anyways. 10th of nov is next week. so i will have to bare with the "person" for a few more days. after that ~ FREEDOM!! muahahahhaha. owh, im gonna do my nails on thurs! another hoorayy! joee asked to do extension. but, its rather expensive. i think its about 150. i can buy a skirt, shirt or whatever with that amount. if i spent it on my fingers, wouldnt it be a little too much? sigh. i dont know what to do know. extensions or just normal medicure? well, i dont know yet. we'll see. lovyeess. :)


- xinn - <3

i'd like to learn to love again.

im having a fever! :( i vomitted yesterday. sigh. didnt go to school today. but have to go tmr. p & a nite is on next friday. the props are not completely done yet. well, hope ill feel better tmr. im still not feeling goood now. haiy. its late. i better get some rest.
owh, before i go. here's a poem from jun. i find it brilliant and sweet. ;)
(teapot refers to xin bin) :D

Your a little teapot
Short and sprout
Come here and pour everything out

When your feeling hot and round
Come to jun to cool your mouth

And when your lonely without a cup
Jun is here to cheer you up

But dont forget the price you pay
Jun is pricy, its best you dont stay

So when your done with life
Do just jump down the table
And crack and roll like dice
Cause when your broken and down
Jun is here, to mend you when found

really sweet of him. heh. gd night. ;)

have a little faith in me.

helowr. today's weather is perfect for a picnic. its breezy. i love it. ;) heh. uhm, on friday, i went ou with joee, da, xen, kent, kok, and gerald! im glad they went. because i haven seen them for quite a while. hah. oh, we met jun and ct there. with their "anti xinyi gang". except for one. he talked to me, uhm. named victor. quite a nice guy. decent. ;) i mean, im not sure if the gang liked me. because whenever i walk close them. they will start spreading away. i dont know why. sigh sigh. anyway, we watched open season. hah. quite a funny movie. but ct said its dumb. he said i would walk out the cinema after 15 minutes. i didnt. jun was supposed to watch world trade center at around four. but then, he didnt know where the "ticket holder" went. he couldn contact him. so, he accompanied me and ida for the rest of the day. we went around looking for jobs. what an amazing friend he is. he didnt complain. not even once. ah, he kept asking me to work at tgif. he is like obsessed with tgif. haha. maybe because the girl he thinks is hot works there. ahem! :D when we got bored of looking for jobs, we went yippee cup for a drink. yippee cup renovated. i dont quite like the new design. i prefer the old one. around seven something, jun cycled home under the rain. how sad. but, luckily he reached home safe.
joee told me she might be going australia on the 22nd nov if im not mistaken. sigh, just like the old times. she is gonna leave me here. :'( i dont wanna friend her! argh.
ida's gonna start working at aldo next week! congrats! haha.
p.s. you wont get fired, dont worry. ;) love ya sexy.

- teapot -

moments we had flashed in my mind, the moment i saw your face

broom brroom. i was suppose to go ou today and yesterday. butt, i couldn make it because i didnt have transport there. sigh. jun asked me to walk to his house. cause his house is near ou. i guess. wait, is that why you asked me to walk to ur house? i kinda forgotten the reason. shiet. old lady. anyway, im in kl now. in dad's office to be specific. went to imbi palace for lunch just now. yummn. neeewayy, i woke up yesterday morning. feeling depress and solemn. i wished there was this huge box filled with guys. so that, i can put my hand in it and simply just grab a guy to date so that i could forget bout the past. i cant help thinking bout him and our past. well, not all the time. but, sometimes. yeesh. wahteverr.

i dont know how to live without your love.

i dont know what are my feelings right now. im feeling rather lost, confused, and lonely? i have no idea why. its complicated.

i regret, the moment i let you go.

good night? hehe. well, i didnt plan to blog today. but, ya know since i came online. i might as well just blog. heh. aight. hhmmnn. ah. i went to school today to do the props !! things are going well. i mean, for now at least. we are doing the so-called-fruits for the stalls. we have to do quite a lot cause we have six stalls and we need about thirty for a stall? sigh. i don really like doing the fruits cause it gets my nails all dirty and black. oh well. i cant insist on not doing. im no one eh. :( oh, and we have kinda painted the "thing" for the front entrance. but the painting's kinda screwed. anyway, i hope everything goes well. ill post the pictures of the front entrance "thing" and the fruits we did soon. not today. i haven got the pictures yet. ill get em soon. tmr maybe. i gotta charge my camera.
ah, and that day. we went to ou to meet ivana. to kinda like celebrate her birhtday. im not sure if you call it celebrating. cause apparently just watched john tucker must die. thats all. then everyone gotta find transport home. one thing which i really hate going ou is that i gotta find my own transport back. its effing annoying when there are three person in my family who can drive. but not even effing one person can send me home! fuck shit. argh! it irritates me so effing much! wtv.
okay. i gotta go play o2jam. im addicted to that game. im not that good compared to ppl like sai kent, kok or whoever. but then. i just kinda love him. heh. ;)

- ur diamond - <3 lovesss.

happy birthday ivana! :)

hey. its ivana the banana's birthday tmr!! cant wait to wish her at 12 later. heh. i wanna be the first one. hehe. we planned to go for a movie on fri. cant wait. tee hee. i didnt see her for so long. i mean. not SSOOO long. long enough. the last time i saw her was during merdeka. and she was not even layaning me. cause she was busy smoking. (just joking for the not layaning me part. she layaned me. she's a good friend. i love her! ;)) sigh. why do ppl smoke anyway? is it that fun? i dont see any benefits in it. it will only make you die faster. nevermind the smoking. well, i dont know what to get her. since its her sweet sixteen. well, ill eventually think of something. aight, what happened today? hhmmn. oh yeah. finals finally over!!! yay!! that means fun fun fun!! hoorayy! but i haven been really studying anyway. so what difference does it make right? haiy. dumb me. i got like freaking low for science paper one. im so so so depressed. shits. ah,today. me, joee, karl xen and kwan kit wanted to go ou for lunch since there was nothing to do in school. but but but, when we wanted to sign the green slip. we saw ying xian and su ann being scolded by mrs chan. she was kinda like screaming at them. sigh. why cant we go back? i mean. there really werent anything to do in school. so in the end. we just left the admin and went back to class. stupid. wtv. tmr's a holiday ! double hooray! hehe. okayy. thats all for now. i guess. buhbye.

ooh. here's a birthday song for ivana <--- my darling.

happy birthday to you.
happy birtday to youuuu.
happy bbbiiirrrttthhhdaayyy to ivannnaaa.
haappppyyyy birthddaaayyy too you!

;)off.

the notebook.

well well. i haven been blogging lately. ya know, finals. heh. but today's the secong last day. yay! had acc and ict today. it was okay. i mean, although my accounts didnt imbang. but, still. im glad. aight.
um. the notebook is a tremendously sweet movie. i think its quite an old movie starring rachel mcadams and ryan gosling. they are hot. i love him. i just watched it that day. ohh. the movie is extremely lovely. i love it so so so much. its really sweet. honey. well, for those who hasnt watch it yet. you seriously should SHOULD, no no, MUST get it. it is one of the movies you gotta keep it in your um. "movie album"? heh. really. its worth it. trust me.
well, nothing much happened lately. oh, can you believe it? form four's gonna end like that. like that ---> "snap". shitzz man. im growing older. argh.
ya know life is so complicated. we gotta make decisions. and sometimes. while making them, you'll be lost. sigh. just like, after pmr, we gotta decide which stream to go to. humanity? science? what if you choose to go to science, but wont be able to score in spm. or what if you choose to go to humanity but cant be someone your parents want you to be? sigh. and how many subjects do you wanna take for spm? eight? nine? or ten? what if you take eight. you cant compete with someone who took one more extra sub? after spm. which college are you going? which course are you taking? because wtv you take will affect your future. what if the course you take now would not bring you a bright future? see. life is just so miserable. sigh.

p.s. i miss ivana. love ya sexy. <3
muackz..
- ur diamond lady -

how to get over a relationship?

september. is it a new trend to break up in the month of september? because i have a few friends who broke up in september. and most of them were like together for a year plus. how can anyone just break up after being together for over a year? i really dont get it. sigh. so my advice to all. never get into a REAL relation with someone. i mean, how old are we right? is it time to be all committed into a relationship? just have fun and enjoy life. teenage life especially. do not cry over anyone you barely know for a year. thats dumb!

stupid reasons to break up with someone:
1. finals are coming, gotta concentrate (crap + bullshit)
2. gotta hang out with friends, kinda ditching them right now (i mean, isnt that an excuse because, why cant a couple hang out with each others friends?!)
3. mom forced me to (shut up! baby)
4. we are not meant for each other (then whats the use of even being together in the first place, shouldn u get to know the person before being with the person?) arse!
5. i think we should cool down (fuck)
6. bla bla bla... and wtv not..

neway. maybe the reason why i dont wanna get involve in a relationship right now is because i dont wanna be committed. because i don wanna get hurt. i dont wanna cry over a guy. a useless guy in specific. who i might not even remember in the next twenty years. sigh. i think guys who dump girls are pathetic losers.
wtv.
i gotta start doing my art work soon. sigh. u might think art is an easy subject. but ur wrong. art is never easy.
oh, i went to watch the "diamonds in the raft" practice today. haha. darn funny. like they were suppose to walk around the hall. without knowing where to go. mr zac was applying science theory in it. he said the way they move about in the hall is exactly like the movements of particles in a container. (colliding into each other):D
the practice was fine. i like sab's and catherine's singing. i really hope the "play?" will be a blast. :/ we still have not started on the props. i dont know if we will be able to get it done on time. sigh. sigh. sigh.
oh, joee darling got nominated for "sports woman". congrats! congrats! ;D
aight. i guess ill stop here. nothing else to blog. will blog soon. bbyyee.

<3 loveeyss
- diamond lady -

;)

hey. i studied history yesterday. after an hour i found out i was only on the fourth page! fuck history. theres so freaking much to know and read about. argh!!! anyway. i reach school early today. ;) i usually reach at like 8.05. and i live freaking near by. heh. well well, um. class as usual. oh, i think ill eventually put on weight. i was apparently eating for the whole day. milo nuggets, sweets, even pizza. mr ng. is leaving so the ex columbus ordered pizza for his farewell. and ramesh by accident ordered extra. he didnt know what to do with it. so nisrin ( the rich + generous princess ) paid for it. wanna know how generous she is? only she paid for the pizza. but we -> (me, joee, marvind, kendrick, douglas) ate too. oh, and of course plus nis. i mean duhh! see? thats how generous and lovely she is. she is just, incredibly sweet. such a hunn. love her loads. well, then. class as usual. i car-pooled with alex. so i reach home about 4.30. thats very early. because i normally reach home at like 5. then, i came online because sweetheart ida told me to come online to check out the skin of my blog. oh, if you didnt know. i love her too. ;) dont smile ida. laugh! hhaha. aight. thats lame. i know. i AM lame. haha. thats me !
xin bin = lame. muahah.
aight. gtg check out my skin. ;)
wink wink. loveyyss.

i think p&a nite is gonna be a blast !

hello to all. im gonna upload those pictures of jackson's party in a while. i only have one pic at aiman's party (me and min yong). ;)tee hee.
shu yen asked me to blog everyday. haha. ill try! neway. school's as usual. nothing much. oh, i redesigned and put up latest news bout the year end concert on the notice board. glad! ;) and hey, get this clear. the theme for p&a nite 2006 is diamonds in the rough. not aladdin. mrs chan got it wrong! sigh.
everyone is so into high school musical. im confused if gabriella or sharpey (ash) is the main actress? cause i flipped through magazines, and troy is always with ash. not gabriella. wth.
ooh, mrs chan announced the nominees for the student of the year award. ahaha. congrats for those who got chosen. sorry, for THOSE who did not get choosen. haha. joee should know who im mentioning. hehe.
p&a nite is on the 10th of november. im suppose to get a sponsor for the booklet. shite. i have no idea who would sponsor that large sum of money just for some concert. nvm. my target now is yoon wei. really hope his dad will sponsor us 500 ringgit. he can get 2 tickets for the nite in return. thats a good thing i suppose. right? haha. okayy. here are the pictures. :)
























loveyys. muacks. <3

finals!!

hey. school was fine today. had pc meeting during break. i felt bad because i was suppose to change/redesign the notice board weeks ago. and when mel asked why was the board still the same. i didnt know what to say. although joee said it was on "progress". i still felt bad. :( sigh. there are lots of hw to do! sigh. i hate exams. shitty. argh! gotta go do bm essay. fuck. bye.

p.s. min yong is leaving next year! im so so so so sad. im definitely gonna miss him. :( saddening. sobs.

party baby!

helo belo.
i went for two parties yesterday. hehe. jackson's and aiman + amir's hehe. i had fun. ;) ill upload the pictures soon. not sure when. haha. jackson's party was the party party kind. aiman's was some sort of gathering though.
jackson's - i was blind folded and had to dance. how embarrassing is that. nis got him a thong. haha. cant imagine what he will do with it if he finds out. aha. ;)
aiman's - we played taboo and charade. charade was fun! karl shern was like trying to let joee and nis guess " sexual harrassment" and he was like humping himself. haha. darn funny! i love parties!
alright. um. today, i went to ou with min yong, aiman and amir to watch nacho libre. it was funny. min yong was like laughing for the whole movie. haha. don-key. hehe.
um. thats all for now i guess. finals coming. argh! toodles. loveyys.

party baby!

blogspot is kinda confusing..

sob.. i think blogspot is kinda confusing and complicated. i didnt know how to use it. i went online yesterday just to blog. but, i couldnt find the "post a blog" sign. i wasted half and hour on finding that effing sign. damn shitty. i wanted to change my skin too. sigh. its okay. at least i kinda get it now. haha. im dumb la. sigh. well, yesterday, i went home at around 2.40p.m. my neck hurt. i think its because of rock climbing. haha.
i had eng class test today. it was kinda okay i guess. but i hate the literature part. its tough understanding the effing poems. sigh. im no xinyispears. ;)
we didnt have bm today because everyone was too busy taking class photo. im not sure if im gonna be in the class page this year. its damn annoying because we had already took like a few in the library, i dont know who the hell asked to take another one. i was too lazy to change. so i decided to stay in class and not take. i was playing bingo in class with joee, nicole, sharmein, geraldine, diandra and all. haha. i didnt win alot though. but, it was fun. haha. i think ill stop here. i have math and bm class test tmr. i gotta study. heh. ;)

im not gonna use xanga nemore..!

well well. this is the first time im blogging here. i used to use xanga. but da said its screwed. so im using blogspot now. hoping its better. shite, that means my posts will be all gone? sigh. oh well, it looks cooler here anyway. so i suppose its a much nicer place to blog. place? oh well. heh.
um. heh. today was supposedly crap but min yong and gang made the day fun and exciting. heh. the crap part was we ( minyong, chia hua, darryl, ryan, aiman, amir, victor, darrel(tess's ex), and a few other guys, cant remember their names, my brother and i) went to a place in subang for paintball. unfortunately, the crap person told us that the pallets and um i think u call it a marker or something (who cares). there werent enough markers and pallets or whatsoever for us. sigh. they should have called to inform us earlier. stupid ppl. sigh. we went ALL the way from pj to subang. fuck them.
the fun part was. heh. minyong, chia hua, darryl, ryan, three other guys, victor, my brother and i. all of us were squashed in victor's car. heh. fun! amir and aiman didnt come with us cause they had lunch with their aunts. we went to ou for rock climbing. back up game. heh. it was kinda fun. my neck hurts now. no idea why. after that, we went to ms. read for lunch. then xen came to send me home. i really enjoyed today. thanks to all!
well. im gonna go to my THE other blog to inform ppl that im gonna start using blogspot from now on. its a pretty cool blog. i love it. heh. well, ill try to blog tmr. see ya!